What NOT to Say
There are cute comebacks, tried and true tested lines, and then there are statements you make that turn you into burnt toast. Don’t go there. If you do, you might lose control of the game, your emotions or future assignments. Since that’s not your goal, here are a few tips on what not to say:
Don’t deliver an ultimatum: If you tell a coach, “One more word and you’re gone,” you’d better back it up. If you can’t, you’re jammed into a corner. Ultimatums can cause you to lose respect. Any hard line approach can exasperate a situation, rather than defusing it.
Don’t be a jerk: That refers to “how” you say something. Sure, you think you didn’t use words that were bad. But your tone of voice or body language tells participants you don’t care or are angry beyond repair, limiting your effectiveness. Monitor your tone of voice. Be firm, fair and non-abrasive. Check your sarcasm in the locker room.
Don’t be cute: You may think your snide remark is funny, but you have no idea how that will come across. If you think you know before you issue a remark designed to poke fun or generate a smile, think again. Not everyone is on the same page. A too cutesy remark could land you in hot water with your supervisor or conference. Can it.
Prepared responses don’t always fit the situation: You may have the perfectly crafted response, and are just waiting for the right situation to use it. But when your carefully prepared witty line, “Number 54, drop the hot coals from your hands,” draws a blank stare, you realize you’ve fallen flat. While it’s good to think through situations beforehand and be prepared with certain responses, they have to make sense in the context of the game, and the player has to understand your intent.
Don’t do it the same way every time: You may have your tried and true lines. Yes, they work, but rather than saying repeatedly, “Coach, I’ve heard enough,” vary it. “Coach, I hear you. I know what you’re saying.” “That’s a good point, Coach.” Make wise adjustments. Using the same lines or statements over and over gets old, and coaches recognize them. Freshen up. Look at each situation as something completely new and adjust your remarks, even if it’s only slightly. Experience is the best teacher. Keep your ideology intact and your phrases fresh.